May has been one fresh, beautiful, full-of-life month. My absolute favorite event was that I got to deliver a baby on Mother’s Day! It was at sunrise, and the golden sunshine was streaming through the window on the mama’s face as she bravely, beautifully, strongly brought a new life into the world. It overwhelmed me! The dad and I sang happy birthday to him. 🙂 I recently read a book called “Spiritual Midwifery” by Ina May Gaskin and it was so wonderful! It makes me want to be a midwife…which maybe someday I will do. 🙂 Using some of the relaxing and encouraging techniques really worked!
I delivered another baby too the next weekend! This is by far my favorite thing to do in the practice of medicine.
And then today, after rounding on patients in the hospital, I went for a walk-jog along the Bering Sea beach, and it took my breath away. Today was stunningly gorgeous, after many days of rain (and even snow just last week!), with sun shining on the waves through the clouds, and later through the waves themselves, lighting them up lucid green.
The sea has been wild lately and tossed up treasures on the sands. I found infinite amounts of sea glass. I put them in my kangaroo pocket and felt pregnant with treasures from this place of beauty.
I started my walk feeling slight anxious. I don’t know why I have felt some anxiety lately….maybe realizing the fragility of life, so many big changes all coming at the same time–including starting a new life with my soulmate (that, incredibly, does not make me feel anxious at all!), thinking about maybe buying a home in Nome, reading stories about Alaska’s heroes and thinking about the courageous acts of so many people that I have now come to now…and thinking about the circumstances of those heroic acts. I don’t know. But walking the beach in the light, in the fresh salty air, in the wind, in the love, made me feel so calm and rejuvenated. It was the best therapy I have had in a long time. The second best was an amazing yoga class at the rec center that felt so good.
In any case, my soul got to relax today. At the bosom of mama nature. Feeling grateful.
by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.